Girl under the RED umbrella

Night was silent and dark

Black clouds overshadowed the moon

Darkness was reigning over the world

Heavy rain pouring down

There was a girl under the red umbrella

Walking fast along the dark alleys

She was on her way back home

Little late than the yesterdays

Her eyes were alert checking every dark corner

Her heart pounding, legs to sprint

One hand is gripping the umbrella

Other turned into tight fist

She’s been praying all the way long

Feeling foreign to her own neighborhood

Just one wish is all she wants right now

To get home safely and all good

Every girl in town becomes this particular girl

The girl under the red umbrella

No girl can enjoy her freedom like boys always do

No alley, no street, no neighborhood is safe for her

Now the girl under the red umbrella is strong enough

She is brave and ready to fight back

Every girl under the red umbrella should rise

Against those stares, those creeping hands and shameless talk

LOST

Up roaring noises in my head

Shouting against each other

Here I am in the corner so dark

Blinded by the black clouds of thoughts

Trying to fall asleep

But something has taken hold of my dreams

A pair of red eyes, sullen and dry

Staring up into the emptiness of sky

Parched lips, heavy breathing and pounding heart

Exhausted and wounded

Trying to lighten up, clear my vision

Bewildered with the directions up ahead

Wishing my guardian angel were here for me

Take me out of my misery and pain

Rescue me and save me from this cruel world

Take me away to the happy land!!

So long 2011, 2012 is here for me..

It feels like yesterday that I, along with some of my friends had cut the cake and cheered up with the clink sound of our glasses welcoming the year 2011 and tonight is the last night of 2011. After the midnight, the most awaited year (at least for me), 2012 will kick-start.

Now, facing my back towards the winter sun, the last day of 2011, 31^st December, I am deep down within my thoughts searching for those past 364 days of 2011. It seems like 2011 passed in a blink of an eye, changing my life, my feelings, my vision and even my perceptions for this world and its belongings.

As the cool and gentle breeze is playing with my hair, memories are now hitting back to my head. Things that I did and that happened to me are slowly coming back but in pieces. I have to rearrange all those pieces to memorize the whole year. I know it will be pretty tough so I choose not to do so instead I will try to make those pieces the precious ones. Also not to forget, I should further crush some of those pieces into fine powder so that the breeze of time will take it away from me.

Like everyone else’s 2011, my 2011 also embrace of good times and bad times, happy times and sad times, tears and joy, frustration and excitement, achievement and failure, friends and enemies and so on. With all those bad times, failure, frustration and tears, 2011 has given me the new lessons so that I can overcome those things easily in the coming years. Happy times are just the additional tabs for the memories to be cherished; achievements are the encouragement and new friends for life.

Already the 2011 has come to an end and just final few hours are remaining for the year to be 2012. It has been said that the world will come to an end in 2012. Once I prayed that world to meet its end so that everything would be finished with it. But now I don’t want that, the only thing I want is 2012 to be more beautiful than any past year of my life and I hope it will be. I will be graduated this year, I will have some more decisions to take, I have to complete the things I started in 2011, I have to say hello to the people to whom I have said goodbye in 2011, I should forget all the things that make me feel low, I have to move on and carry on and many more things in 2012.

When the sun will rise tomorrow morning, I wish the first rays of 2012 will light up my whole year ahead. I don’t want my 2012 to be like my 2011because I want more than that. I just expect that 2012 has more happiness, love, luck and success in store for me. Also I am ready for the challenges that it is planning to dare me. I am excited for the familiar hellos once again and preparing my head and heart for few more goodbyes. Above all, I am ready for the farewell of 2011 and the welcome of yours, New Year 2011. Welcome!!

Infatuation love vs. True love

Infatuation love is equivalent to being head over heels over the person for no apparent reasons. True love is knowing the person inside out and still loving him as much as you do the first time you set eyes on him. 

~Joel Guo

Most of us always get into trouble simply because we think that the infatuation love is our true love. We never try to give our second thought for the infatuation love and just go crazy for the infatuation as it appears to be as true love in the beginning. Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines ‘infatuation’ as very strong feelings of love, or attraction for somebody/something, especially when these are unreasonable and do not last long and ‘love’ as a strong feeling of deep affection for somebody/something, especially a member of your family o a friend.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and places about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.

Though there is this huge difference between infatuation and true love, many of us are still confused distinguishing infatuation and true love. We know that infatuation does not last long but also many of us gets so emotional and waste their time on unreasonable activities for the person they are infatuated are. When you think that you are in love with a person whom you have met just few times, you are totally wrong. Actually this is the time when you have the infatuation for that particular person. You like that person only when he/she does the things according to you otherwise you don’t like him/her. If you were in true love, you would have loved and like each and every part of him/her and everything he/she does.

Infatuation continues as long as you are with that person you like or attracted with but as soon as distances grows between you and that person slowly you will no longer be attracted to that person or that person will not be of any value for you. But true love strengthens as the distances and separation increases. When you only think of satisfying yourself and making yourself happy then its infatuation, you want to make yourself happy because of the other person. But in true love you always think of other person rather than yourself and try to keep other person happy and you always want to be the reason of other person’s happiness.

You will always ‘fall into’ the infatuation, while you will ‘grow into’ the true love. Infatuation is just for the instance while true love lasts till eternity. But also most of us do the mistakes of following the infatuation and believing that it is true love. In many cases, we can see the victory of infatuation over true love. Infatuation will destroy you and your dreams while true love helps you do better than ever. Infatuation lacks confidence and certainty while love is always elevating. Your head is held high in love. As Ann Landers says ‘Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will’.

Somewhere it was written: It's so easy to be infatuated with someone but hard to find that someone who will catch you.

The GOD really exists, or it’s just our belief?

As to gods, I have no way of knowing either that they exist or do not exist, or what they are like.

-Protagoras

All over the world, it is believed that the GOD exists. All the religions in the world follow or worship the gods of their own. I am neither theist nor atheist because sometimes I feel that the god really exists and think that there is no god in this world the other time. This may be the case of many of us. At a point many of us feel that the god is present and a turn will prove them that there is no god at all.

But we can believe that the god exists simply because we believe that the ghosts do exist. As we all know that there is good thing for every bad thing, every dark side has the bright side and likewise for the evil part there must be some angelic side. That’s why many of us believe that the god exists.

Every morning we can see the people worshipping gods according to their religions. Also we can say the people do have faith in god because we see lots of temples, mosques, churches, and other religious institutions. Had not the people have faith in god, there would not be this much of these temples, mosques or churches or other religious institutions.

The other thing to think about is the existence of heaven and hell. Is there a real heaven or hell? It is said that the gods live in heaven and the devils dwell in hell even though nobody has visited those places, came back and share the experience till date. The persons who did good things in their life they live, they go to heaven otherwise straight to hell. I think that this is said to us people just to motivate them to do good deeds in their life and live happily afterlife.

All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours.

-Aldous Huxley

The faith in god just work as the power booster or energizer that encourages people to do better things thinking of having better afterlife. So, it really doesn’t matter if the god really exists or not. It’s us who are supposed to decide whether to believe and have faith in god, the only thing that matters is doing good deeds fearing the god or just making sure the better afterlife. The existence of god might just be our belief!! 

Season of celebration...!!

After the muddy monsoon season, with a bright glowing sun on the clear blue sky, the festive season of Nepalese people starts. This is the season of the great festival, Dashain for Nepalese Hindu people filling the great enthusiasm in them. This is the season when every child are so excited all because they get a month holiday from their school and all those job holders get their days off for a week. Happiness and excitement can be felt in the air everywhere we go.

The streets and markets are full of people buying and selling things for the festivals. Every household is busy doing shopping for food, delicacies, clothing, jewelry, and other household materials. The streets are full of crowds and street vendors which makes difficult to walk through. Prior to the Dashain, the traffic congestion increases so much more than the regular due to the people preparing for the festivals. And most of the people who are living temporarily in the capital city return to their home town or village to meet their family and relatives. This is the festival when the people who are living abroad also return back to their country.

On the festive occasion, there are various bumper prizes and schemes of the shopping malls and brands since everybody are so much into shopping in this season. We can see the board hanging or the posters displaying “SALE” pasted to the glass window or door of the every other shop in the streets. All those shopkeepers are offering discount rates and applying every strategy to attract more customers towards them. The price of everything is rising up day by day but the good thing about this city is that there is market for every level of the people living in the city. People can go to those markets only where they can afford to buy otherwise this festival can be headache for those people with low income.

Dashain is the festival of new clothes, having delicious dishes, visiting family and relatives, worshipping goddess, Durga and paying homage in her temples. Mostly children are excited about having new clothes than the adults but this is the season of shopping for anyone. We can see kites flying in the clear sky and mostly the boys are busy flying their kites. Also the big swings “ping” across the bamboo or the branch of big trees are the symbols of Dashain. From the kitchens of every house, we can smell the aroma of mouth watering delicious food. And everywhere worshipping of Goddess, Durga and her different forms are being observed with the prayers that can be heard from distance.

The negative side of this festival can be accounted as its positive sides. The food grains are wasted so much in the name of god, rituals and tradition. Also sacrificing of birds like fowls, ducks and animals like goats, sheep, buffaloes are done all across the country which is against the animal rights. It is not that nothing is done by the animal rights activists but the people do not even care to take a single thought about not sacrificing to god. Thousands of birds and animals are killed in the name of god and the religion and this should be taken as a serious issue.

Dashain is all about having good times with families and relatives, fun with friends, enjoying and celebrating the festival in every possible way. Some are busy shopping while some are busy in the kitchen preparing delicacies. Children are busy flying kites and swinging high up in the air while adults are playing cards and drinking up. Most of us are busy visiting our relatives and friends. The other main act of Dashain is putting “tika” from the elders and receiving blessings and some money as “Dakshina”. This is another part of which children are excited about. As a kid, I remember how there used to be fight among me and my siblings for getting the highest “Dakshina” from our elders. In the childhood, “Dakshina” used to have greater value than the blessings of elders but as time passes and we grow up, blessings are so much more valuable than the amount of money we receive.

Dashain is great festival spreading the happiness and filling up everyone with excitement. But it’s only for those families which can afford the happiness with money; this festival adds more poverty to the poor families. Those people with the low income cannot celebrate the festival in a way the rich ones celebrate. Before few days, I had overheard two people talking about Dashain, “Dashain is not for the people like us, it is ‘Dasha’ (bad omen) for us.” After hearing this sentence, the chill ran down my spine, something stroked my heart and compelled my mind to think about. Of course, Dashain adds more pain for those poor families, even more in the rural areas. It’s hard to imagine how the children would feel whose parents can’t afford new pair of clothes for them, who couldn’t buy a kite for them to fly, and who couldn’t get them a proper meal. So, realizing this fact I have lost my enthusiasm and excitement for Dashain but this does not mean I will not celebrate it. I will obviously celebrate with my family and relatives but I’ll try not to waste too much, avoid extravagant expenditure and celebrate with peace and happiness. After all, this is the season of festival and celebration.

On my way, from home to college...

Every morning, I got to go to the college except Thursdays and Fridays. Sometimes it is easy to wake up early and sometimes it is difficult waking up early and get ready for the college. But however I manage to go to college which is located at Baluwatar, Kathmandu from Gatthaghar, Bhaktapur i.e. from where I live. Every day on my way to college I see lot of things and I always have lots of things moving in my head and heart. I wish the day would go perfect every day after I left home for my college.

I have to walk nearly 15 minutes to get to the bus stop from my home, and in this 15 minutes way I see lot of beautiful as well as disappointing things. In a clear day I can have wonderful view of mountains in the north with cool breeze blowing through my ear. On the either side of the black topped road there is paddy field these days and it is really pleasant greenish green for my eyes. The chirping of the little birds sounds like some harmonious music being played by the most skilled artist which goes through my ear and reaches my heart. Sometimes I can also observe the sunrise in the east while walking this very road and all these beautiful views in the morning fill my heart with happiness and give peace to my head and energize me. But like we all know that there is bright side and dark side of everything, along with all these beautiful view I also have to cross a bridge under which Hanumante River is flowing with all the waste materials in it. Along the side of the bridge also there is huge heap of solid waste which is degrading the aesthetic value of the place.

On my way to college, I see lots of different people with different motives and different destinations. Some of them are jogging and others are doing physical exercise keeping them fit. Some people are buying fresh vegetables direct from the farmers in the morning while some people are there in streets buying the breakfast stuffs. Many of them are the students leaving for their schools and colleges while some of them are already leaving for their workplaces. Every morning those students remind me of my old school days and college days, seeing them makes me smile at my heart because I see myself back in my school and high school. Some are the street vendors who are already starting their daily businesses. Also not to forget the pavement of Sundhara, commonly known as RNAC area, I can see lots of beggars even though its morning time. They never give me the better vibes and I never feel good seeing those people, after all they are also the part of the society that we live in. In the bus stand, all the helpers of the buses and micro-buses are shouting their route and calling as much passengers as they can to their buses. Most of these helpers are little boys not more than 15 years in age and I always think and ask myself, “Where are the children rights of these boys?”

Every day while coming to college, I have to cross these three rivers; Hanumante, Manohara and Bagmati. None of these rivers are in their original state of clean and pure instead they are all polluted and are in worse condition. I don’t blame the river itself for being polluted, it is us, we human being who have polluted these rivers. The growing population of the city, rapid and unmanaged urbanization and carelessness of people living here are major reasons for the polluted rivers. Not only the rivers, even the roads and pavement are full of garbage and solid wastes in the morning. There are several big, green dustbins provided by the metropolitan in the streets but all the waste would be right there beside the dustbins. I wonder why nobody even cares to throw the garbage in the dustbin. In some places, I can see some workers collecting those heaps of waste in the certain truck for processing the waste and I can read on the side of those trucks that these have been aided by the Chinese government. In the streets, also I can see sweepers sweeping the roads and pavements making them look cleaner and they are the first ones who I thank in the beginning of my day.

In ancient time, it has been said that Kathmandu is the city of temples and there are as much gods as the people living here. I can believe this saying because I bow my head and pray ten times in front of ten different temples from my home to my college even the city has so much urbanized than the ancient period. I don’t much believe in gods but I bow before the temple and ask nothing to god. I don’t know why but passing by these temples and praying to gods makes me feel that my day will be better.

Along with the temples, there are lots of new buildings that have been mushrooming in this city. While I am in the microbus, I watch these new buildings and analyze their designs and the pattern. In some buildings which are just completed or still under construction have the graphic picture of that building and I try to compare the picture and the building if they are exactly the same or there is some difference. Whatever I might see or whatever I might think on my way, I would be listening to music of some kind. It may be from my mobile phone or it could be playing from the player of the micro bus or the sound of prayers from distant. The good music is always a good starter of the day.

These are the things that I see every day on my way to college and these are the thoughts that generally dwell in my head during that time. The major thing that compel my mind to think some more is the waste and garbage that is thrown on either side of the road and everywhere. These heaps of garbage are degrading the aesthetic value of the city. The city, which was once known as city of temples and gods is soon to be known as city of garbage. The pollution of the city can hamper the name and fame of the city in front of other countries. If only the waste was managed properly the city would look even more beautiful and clean.